What I last ate Leftovers
What I last drank Water
Song in my head My mind is rather blank today....
It's a weird place. It just is. Trust me. I made up my mind on this many years ago and I'm rather set in my ways.
However, I have had two experiences there this year alone that have really tossed me on my hiney. I'm not sure whether I love it now or truly hate it.
There is an artist named Louis Cantillo who has taken remarkable pictures of the El Presidio District in downtown Tucson. These photos are amazing. The day after my 30th birthday, I set out to the streets with my tiny little girl in her stroller to find the subjects of the pictures. The district is very small and they were easy to find. Run down streets but with walls painted bright yet warm colors. I had been admiring the photos of these houses and windows for years and there I was in front of them. There was something so surreal and amazing about it. Almost like the pictures had never been real but, there I was. I wanted to stand there forever. I was totally drawn in and didn't want to let go.
Last weekend I went there to visit a friend with my daughter. My husband was away for the weekend and we just wanted to visit. My friend is an incredible woman who married very young and had her daughter very young. She has been divorced a year and lives in a small 2 bedroom with her 11 year old daughter. Not much light in the place. She has made it homey. Her daughter was kind enough to offer me her room, where the baby and I stayed. We had a good visit and laughed a lot and ate a lot. But I didn't quite feel myself all weekend. Just totally out of sorts. I wanted my house. I wanted my husband. I really wanted my husband. So bad that I started crying on the way out of town. I had plans yesteray afternoon and threw them aside completely in order just to be home. Standing on my front lawn after getting home felt better than could ever have imagined.
Two completely different experiences. They've brought out emotions in me I can't begin to explain. I don't know what any of it really means and don't even know where to begin to figure it out. Shed some light if you do.
